Where did I go?

A lot has happened since I attempted to post to this site. In early 2013, I opened a brick and mortar conglomeration with someone who shall remain nameless. It was 3 years of absolute sacrifice to finally have a place to share all of the artists and creators around me. It was also a place of great trauma for me; I still cannot bring myself to step foot into what the space has become since we moved out.  For a time, I chose to be quiet about my pain, but I realize that the act of concealment only furthered the hurting of my throbbing, injured soul. Sometimes, we allow people into our lives who cause us great torture, and we don’t even realize the damage done it until much time has passed. There is no point to regret. Yet, I may never forgive her for raping my dreams, abusing my heart, and spitting venom on me in the end.

Losing that space, the community, coming out feeling like a drowned rat with naught left but scraps for clothes, an empty gas tank, and $12…it was more humbling (for me) than being homeless. My house was in a state of neglect, my partner in life, exhausted, and I felt like I was locked in a massive warehouse with no windows.

I took a job working with the land for less money than I had worked for in over a decade. That led to an interview to manage a small farm on my 32nd birthday, with $12 in my bank account, $2 of which went to parking. It was a temp position and I told myself, “I can do anything for 6 months, anything. I will get this job.”

Fast forward, and now I manage the project. It’s odd to leave a world full of constant gigs, travel, working with many types of personalities, and being screamed at on the daily, to being alone with the land, butterflies, and birds. I resisted telling anyone about my new job, because I know as a woman, you can only be good at one thing at a time. (HAR). At least that’s how it seems to be perceived. With every new photo of me covered in dirt with a prize-sized tomato, men, (especially white male artists), fled my social media in droves. I’d ask them why, and they told me they only keep up with people “in the industry” and it seems that I “have quit”.

I know what they meant.

They were there for the tits.
They are here to climb that proverbial ladder.
And Facebook doesn’t pay my bills.

I never stopped taking photos; my work just went from being featured in tattoo magazines to being published in environmental publications…I stopped curating shows for artists and started creating food for food banks from otherwise wasted materials.

Promo for a video about sustainable farming which featured me. (THIS BLOG DOES NOT REPRESENT ANY OTHER ENTITY THAN FEDORA EL MORRO)

Once I accepted this new position, my future opened up again.
I can create while I farm.
My art is in everything I touch, build, grow, teach, learn.
We cannot separate what we do from who we are.

I finally feel healed enough to put myself out there again. So, here I go, relaunching this blog, adding to the stories, and moving forward on this life journey.

Thank you for being here.

Linear

Sometimes when I really yearn for the future
I learn hard truths about the past.

The time went by so fast.

I thought I’d never bow to a man
Then I found one that humbles me.

I watched my mother dote on assholes.
I am constantly trying to get ahead

We don’t make the money we used to.
Lots of money lost to feeding my head.

So strong these days to resist the men’s gross gazing
Ready to stand tall and make them red.

I used to let them in my bed.


(Photo by Mother Ghost Photography)

Anji Marth Interviews Fedora

and here’s what happened:

http://resonanteye.net/2014/02/04/10232/

 

The tiny box of Fedora El Morro.

Posted by Anj Marth on 02/04/2014

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1. Most artists have a favorite medium, what is yours? 

My favorite medium is photography.

2. Do you have any secret shortcuts? I mean, do you use odd tools, techniques, or anything else that isn’t strictly status-quo for your medium? How did you figure out that it worked?

I use anything and everything I can get my hands on to achieve the images of my intent. White and black foam is cheap and awesome to have around for lighting. I use fabrics and curtains from thrift stores for backdrops. I have a collection of cameras, some fancy, some old, some simple. I just took a three day photo trip with a friend. I brought 5 cameras a lots of lighting. While I used the polaroid camera, the D5000, the D700, the Go-Pro 2, and the Sony HD video, I only used ONE CHEAP CLAMP LIGHT with a 500 Watt photoflood bulb in it….the entire trip…one light, no modifiers. The best gear one has is whatever they have access to.

 

3. You’ve sold work before? What was the first thing someone bought from you, that you made? How did it feel to sell that piece? Are there pieces you keep hidden away, or keep for yourself, and why?

I have sold a lot of work. The first piece someone bought from me was a painting of roses, actually. It felt amazing, but I know I did not charge enough for it. My first hired portfolio building session was in the woods with a local model. It was an incredible feeling to know that I was being commissioned to help another artist share her vision with the world.

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4. Working with people is sometimes the hardest part of art. How do you deal with (commission requests/demanding tattoo clients/bad art ideas/people asking if you have a real job)?

The worst is when a client wants to do a photo shoot and they immediately tell me they hate their own face or body. Self-hate is the hardest part of working with the public. I try my best to respect their feelings while pointing out things I like about their features. I try to get them to point out something they DO like about their features/personality.

When it comes to bad art ideas. I think I simply have no filter. My face is very expressive. I tend to make a stink face and then figure out what it is they like about the idea to see if we can develop it further.

5. What jobs did you have before you started arting? You don’t have to list them all- but were any particularly awful, or interesting? Did those jobs influence the way you approach your art now?

I worked in the restaurant biz. Serving, cocktail waitressing, line cook, prep cook, dishwasher, manager, busser, you name it. I loved the job, but I hated the management. No matter what part of the country I was in, whether fine dining or diners, the management always sucked. No benefits, no sick days, no flexibility, no raises. If I wanted to get treated that way, I’d be self employed…so, here I am…

6. How long have you been working in (the favorite medium you named)? Do you think there are any new ideas in that field that are worth pursuing? for example, 3d printing for sculpture/assemblage, rotary machines for tattooing, digital work for painting, etc

I have been working with photography since the age of 8. Professionally, this has been my full time job since 2005. I get a lot of ideas from self-portraiture. Digital cameras surely are starting to get the quality I expect from film. As for new ideas, I am finding a need to offer video press kits to clients, which requires new techniques, gear, programs, etc. I have been working on transferring images to wood panels with acrylic medium. It is a lot of fun, delicate, and renders a very unique image.

7. How do you feel about using projectors, tracing, and photographs as reference for your work? Do you use these? Do you think it’s cheating if you use your own sketches or photographs to start out with? And, what do you think of camera obscuras, camera lucidas, and other optical aids like grids, for perspective and proportion?

I try not to study how other people create images. I want my ideas to come to life without the interruption of other shooters’ minds, histories, techniques coming into play. I like to garner inspiration from my models, nature, life experience, and the human condition.

Fedora took this photograph of me, it is possibly the finest photographever taken of me. It is exactly right.Fedora took this photograph of me, it is possibly the finest photographever taken of me. It is exactly right.

8. Have you taken any formal art classes? Have you had a mentor help you? Do you have “spirit artists” to guide you? (artists, living or dead, who you do not personally know, but to whom you look for inspiration or answers)

I have many mentors. I model for them. We try out ideas. They challenge my routines. I have not taken any formal art classes for photography, but I work for so many artists, that I feel they have taught me a lot.

9. Do you make prints or reproduce your work? Do you like galleries? Do you hang your art in bars or coffeeshops? How do you feel about public exposure to your work? Does it make you nervous to be in a spotlight, or do you enjoy it?

I enjoy the spotlight when performing. When it comes to sharing my photography, I just hope that others connect to the stories. I have been showing in magazines, galleries, and other venues since day one.

10. If you earn your living with art, how many hours a week do you work? Counting research, sketching, cleaning up, framing, promotion, etc. Do you think you get paid a decent wage for this? Do you think it matters, as long as you’re enjoying the work?

I tend to work 50-60 hours per week. I do not get paid a decent wage. It does matter. I am constantly striving to get enough gigs to keep me extra busy with shooting instead of promotion and research. Having opened a brick n mortar studio in 2013, I am well on my way. We have a hair salon, photo studio, boutique, and art gallery in one big creative space which allows all of us working here to pool our networks and meet more potential clients.

11. When you began with (favorite medium), what was the hardest thing to learn?

It’s hard to pinpoint the one hardest thing about learning photography. Getting to know a camera so well that you can use it in the dark without thinking is difficult but essential. Some shooters struggle with lighting the most. Others struggle with using the right lenses for the shot. The mathematics involved in photography is essential to me, but perhaps not to others.

12. Do you have a site where you sell your work? which site, and how do you like it?

I use digiproofs.com to sell my photos. I love it.

13. Anyone you want to give a shout-out to? One or two names only…

Reed Carpenter has supported my dream for so many years. One day he told me he’d resent me if I didnt pursue photography as a career even though it’s far more risky than lots of other jobs I am capable of.

14. When you aren’t working, what are you doing with your time? Do you have any hobbies that are totally apart from your creative work, or does your art tend to creep in to your recreation time?

I draw a lot. I love to write poetry. I am writing a few books about my life on the road. I love to watch movies to gain inspiration about the human condition, our stories, our controversy, our diversity, how color and depth of field affect the mood.

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http://fedoraelmorro.com – http://tinyboxmedia.com – http://spectrumseattle.com – http://fedorasbox.com   fedoraelmorro@yahoo.com https://www.facebook.com/SpectrumHousesalonphotohttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Fedora/138010849621992 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tiny-Box-Media-Productions/203396595221

 

You are what you eat.

I feel like stupid things
are happening to stupid people
but it’s hypocritical
to point it out.

In my time
I have seen
that shit happens
but it all evens out.

The more you know
and try to achieve
the more you feel
showered with blessings.

You are what you eat
and accompany
those you attract

Try to listen & learn
before you react.

-Written by Fedora el Morro
-Images created by Fedora el Morro, Mother Ghost Photography, Reed Carpenter, and one carrot.

 

Ok Seattle! A huge selection of the mustache panties I make for my ‘Stache Wear line, along with tank tops and Strong Women calendars, are available to you at a rad shop in Greenwood called Tasty. Go there and touch my panties. Then put them on and be merry. They will only be there until March 10th as a part of an all-female art showcase happening at Tasty. Tasty, go there.
https://www.facebook.com/Shop.Tasty.Art

Angie, Anna, and Sara rocking some 'Stache Wear panties

“Stir Crazy”

Gawddddamn! This video is so FN weird! First, it’s all “Seattle Snow” and sledding; then, some freaky chick starts dancing in her underwear to dubstep like she’s in some white trash music video. Holy Shite! I kind of want to hate this, but all of my being is telling me that The Force wants me to LOVE THE POOP RIGHT OUT OF THIS concoction of going “nutso in the winter” vlogs juxtaposed with nature’s unexpected frozen bounties of “I don’t have to work today; look, I painted my face.”

End of the World? Not yet!

After an epic camp down the coast turned throat-sore and sick, a week-and-a-half of hacking up last year’s smoker lung, quitting that habit, again, and waking up to my computer for the first time in weeks…I am left with this overwhelming feeling of “Where the hell do I start?”

Contemplating the future amongst the wonder of the Oregon coast.

Oh, I know! How about I show you the FIRST EVER TEASER from the Belly Boys calendar that has been flying out of my ever-loving hands, signed, numbered, and sexified with all my love for the underbelly of masculine artwork in America?

Mr. September with his bowl of stroganoff

Need more incentive to obtain this masterpiece? As if twelve amazing images of men who inspire the world around them compiled into one limited edition package wasn’t enough, consider if you will, that this art piece is good for practical use for one full year. It is non-denomenational so everyone can enjoy turing the months, and I have included lots and lots of lesser-known bizarre celebrations of food and form throughout the year of 2012 that you can see no where else. If the prophecies are right, then this could very well be the last calendar you ever purchase. Cherish it. I traveled the USA for a year to create this.  Twenty bucks never flew so proud.

Grab a spoon and dig in! Purchase here sans all the PayPal and Esty fees.

Don’t think I am letting the boys off so easy. Another box of Stong Women calendars just landed on my front porch. Let’s find these ladies a new home. It is my most loved passion to celebrate the people who inspire our communities to grow, share, be bold, take charge, and LIVE OUT LOUD. These women are like no others you will ever meet or gaze upon. Don’t let their beauty be the only thing you realize to be true of these women; please take this invitation to learn more about the individuals I selected for this compilation of insightful, talented, couragous women. Now that I have a store of my own, free from Facebook and Etsy censorship, I can let these images reign!

How's that for Breast Cancer Awareness Month?

Reward these ladies for their bravery by showing them you have what it takes to celebrate Stong Women by hanging this 12 month, signed, numbered, limited edition 2012 calendar on your wall.

I have many more stories and collaborations to share with you, but this will end my transmission for today. Go get em, tiger!