Some things are better without words…
Some things are better without words…
A lot has happened since I attempted to post to this site. In early 2013, I opened a brick and mortar conglomeration with someone who shall remain nameless. It was 3 years of absolute sacrifice to finally have a place to share all of the artists and creators around me. It was also a place of great trauma for me; I still cannot bring myself to step foot into what the space has become since we moved out. For a time, I chose to be quiet about my pain, but I realize that the act of concealment only furthered the hurting of my throbbing, injured soul. Sometimes, we allow people into our lives who cause us great torture, and we don’t even realize the damage done it until much time has passed. There is no point to regret. Yet, I may never forgive her for raping my dreams, abusing my heart, and spitting venom on me in the end.
Losing that space, the community, coming out feeling like a drowned rat with naught left but scraps for clothes, an empty gas tank, and $12…it was more humbling (for me) than being homeless. My house was in a state of neglect, my partner in life, exhausted, and I felt like I was locked in a massive warehouse with no windows.
I took a job working with the land for less money than I had worked for in over a decade. That led to an interview to manage a small farm on my 32nd birthday, with $12 in my bank account, $2 of which went to parking. It was a temp position and I told myself, “I can do anything for 6 months, anything. I will get this job.”
Fast forward, and now I manage the project. It’s odd to leave a world full of constant gigs, travel, working with many types of personalities, and being screamed at on the daily, to being alone with the land, butterflies, and birds. I resisted telling anyone about my new job, because I know as a woman, you can only be good at one thing at a time. (HAR). At least that’s how it seems to be perceived. With every new photo of me covered in dirt with a prize-sized tomato, men, (especially white male artists), fled my social media in droves. I’d ask them why, and they told me they only keep up with people “in the industry” and it seems that I “have quit”.
I know what they meant.
They were there for the tits.
They are here to climb that proverbial ladder.
And Facebook doesn’t pay my bills.
I never stopped taking photos; my work just went from being featured in tattoo magazines to being published in environmental publications…I stopped curating shows for artists and started creating food for food banks from otherwise wasted materials.
Once I accepted this new position, my future opened up again.
I can create while I farm.
My art is in everything I touch, build, grow, teach, learn.
We cannot separate what we do from who we are.
I finally feel healed enough to put myself out there again. So, here I go, relaunching this blog, adding to the stories, and moving forward on this life journey.
Thank you for being here.
Sometimes when I really yearn for the future
I learn hard truths about the past.
The time went by so fast.
I thought I’d never bow to a man
Then I found one that humbles me.
I watched my mother dote on assholes.
I am constantly trying to get ahead
We don’t make the money we used to.
Lots of money lost to feeding my head.
So strong these days to resist the men’s gross gazing
Ready to stand tall and make them red.
I used to let them in my bed.
(Photo by Mother Ghost Photography)
Every time I awake
in the basking sun
I lounge, look over,
and mourn your absence
The art of losing you
is a daily battle
reminds me of putting the milk bowl down
for the dog that died last month
I offer my morning to your warmth
but you are long gone
a fading memory
All images created by Fedora el Morro for FedorasBox.com
and here’s what happened:
Posted by Anj Marth on 02/04/2014
1. Most artists have a favorite medium, what is yours?
My favorite medium is photography.
2. Do you have any secret shortcuts? I mean, do you use odd tools, techniques, or anything else that isn’t strictly status-quo for your medium? How did you figure out that it worked?
I use anything and everything I can get my hands on to achieve the images of my intent. White and black foam is cheap and awesome to have around for lighting. I use fabrics and curtains from thrift stores for backdrops. I have a collection of cameras, some fancy, some old, some simple. I just took a three day photo trip with a friend. I brought 5 cameras a lots of lighting. While I used the polaroid camera, the D5000, the D700, the Go-Pro 2, and the Sony HD video, I only used ONE CHEAP CLAMP LIGHT with a 500 Watt photoflood bulb in it….the entire trip…one light, no modifiers. The best gear one has is whatever they have access to.
3. You’ve sold work before? What was the first thing someone bought from you, that you made? How did it feel to sell that piece? Are there pieces you keep hidden away, or keep for yourself, and why?
I have sold a lot of work. The first piece someone bought from me was a painting of roses, actually. It felt amazing, but I know I did not charge enough for it. My first hired portfolio building session was in the woods with a local model. It was an incredible feeling to know that I was being commissioned to help another artist share her vision with the world.
4. Working with people is sometimes the hardest part of art. How do you deal with (commission requests/demanding tattoo clients/bad art ideas/people asking if you have a real job)?
The worst is when a client wants to do a photo shoot and they immediately tell me they hate their own face or body. Self-hate is the hardest part of working with the public. I try my best to respect their feelings while pointing out things I like about their features. I try to get them to point out something they DO like about their features/personality.
When it comes to bad art ideas. I think I simply have no filter. My face is very expressive. I tend to make a stink face and then figure out what it is they like about the idea to see if we can develop it further.
5. What jobs did you have before you started arting? You don’t have to list them all- but were any particularly awful, or interesting? Did those jobs influence the way you approach your art now?
I worked in the restaurant biz. Serving, cocktail waitressing, line cook, prep cook, dishwasher, manager, busser, you name it. I loved the job, but I hated the management. No matter what part of the country I was in, whether fine dining or diners, the management always sucked. No benefits, no sick days, no flexibility, no raises. If I wanted to get treated that way, I’d be self employed…so, here I am…
6. How long have you been working in (the favorite medium you named)? Do you think there are any new ideas in that field that are worth pursuing? for example, 3d printing for sculpture/assemblage, rotary machines for tattooing, digital work for painting, etc
I have been working with photography since the age of 8. Professionally, this has been my full time job since 2005. I get a lot of ideas from self-portraiture. Digital cameras surely are starting to get the quality I expect from film. As for new ideas, I am finding a need to offer video press kits to clients, which requires new techniques, gear, programs, etc. I have been working on transferring images to wood panels with acrylic medium. It is a lot of fun, delicate, and renders a very unique image.
7. How do you feel about using projectors, tracing, and photographs as reference for your work? Do you use these? Do you think it’s cheating if you use your own sketches or photographs to start out with? And, what do you think of camera obscuras, camera lucidas, and other optical aids like grids, for perspective and proportion?
I try not to study how other people create images. I want my ideas to come to life without the interruption of other shooters’ minds, histories, techniques coming into play. I like to garner inspiration from my models, nature, life experience, and the human condition.
8. Have you taken any formal art classes? Have you had a mentor help you? Do you have “spirit artists” to guide you? (artists, living or dead, who you do not personally know, but to whom you look for inspiration or answers)
I have many mentors. I model for them. We try out ideas. They challenge my routines. I have not taken any formal art classes for photography, but I work for so many artists, that I feel they have taught me a lot.
9. Do you make prints or reproduce your work? Do you like galleries? Do you hang your art in bars or coffeeshops? How do you feel about public exposure to your work? Does it make you nervous to be in a spotlight, or do you enjoy it?
I enjoy the spotlight when performing. When it comes to sharing my photography, I just hope that others connect to the stories. I have been showing in magazines, galleries, and other venues since day one.
10. If you earn your living with art, how many hours a week do you work? Counting research, sketching, cleaning up, framing, promotion, etc. Do you think you get paid a decent wage for this? Do you think it matters, as long as you’re enjoying the work?
I tend to work 50-60 hours per week. I do not get paid a decent wage. It does matter. I am constantly striving to get enough gigs to keep me extra busy with shooting instead of promotion and research. Having opened a brick n mortar studio in 2013, I am well on my way. We have a hair salon, photo studio, boutique, and art gallery in one big creative space which allows all of us working here to pool our networks and meet more potential clients.
11. When you began with (favorite medium), what was the hardest thing to learn?
It’s hard to pinpoint the one hardest thing about learning photography. Getting to know a camera so well that you can use it in the dark without thinking is difficult but essential. Some shooters struggle with lighting the most. Others struggle with using the right lenses for the shot. The mathematics involved in photography is essential to me, but perhaps not to others.
12. Do you have a site where you sell your work? which site, and how do you like it?
I use digiproofs.com to sell my photos. I love it.
13. Anyone you want to give a shout-out to? One or two names only…
Reed Carpenter has supported my dream for so many years. One day he told me he’d resent me if I didnt pursue photography as a career even though it’s far more risky than lots of other jobs I am capable of.
14. When you aren’t working, what are you doing with your time? Do you have any hobbies that are totally apart from your creative work, or does your art tend to creep in to your recreation time?
I draw a lot. I love to write poetry. I am writing a few books about my life on the road. I love to watch movies to gain inspiration about the human condition, our stories, our controversy, our diversity, how color and depth of field affect the mood.
http://fedoraelmorro.com – http://tinyboxmedia.com – http://spectrumseattle.com – http://fedorasbox.com firstname.lastname@example.org https://www.facebook.com/SpectrumHousesalonphotohttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Fedora/138010849621992 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tiny-Box-Media-Productions/203396595221
Aaaaand here is your picture of the day!
It is no secret that I have an enormous archive of unreleased images. Why? I take a lot of photos. Since Fedora’s Box is such a personal project to me, and a labor of love, the images I create for it often don’t get seen for years. And, even then, they are only available to members of Fedoras Box. I hope self-exploration and nude women do not offend you. I find the process of learning to love myself started with stripping away my preconceived notions of beauty and self. By stripping the makeup, the clothing, the pretense, I was free to explore the world with new, loving eyes.
(Photo of Fedora by Isaac Suttell in LA, CA, USA)
This compelled me to photograph other women’s journeys of finding self-love and exploration. Thus, I have a treasure chest of naked ladies called Fedoras Box.
Here is an image I edited today of Rocket as part of a series I call, “Lady of the Trees”.
I am incomplete. Our stories are partial. The work I create is both shameless and perpetual. It lacks conclusion and ignites inspiration. In order to enjoy these memories, you must experience them.
::Written by Fedora el Morro
:: Jan 27, 2012
:: Photo of Willow and Fedora by Curtis Joe Walker
I Once Dreamed of Freedom
I once was a child
who dreamed of freedom
so, I chose to be free.
I took my mind
and opened it up
like a flower in the sun
I took my heartbreak
from shatters on the floor
and made a
stained glass window
for the outside to shine through.
I spend my time
shaping my body
and fortifying my tissue
so that I could always
have the strength to run to you.
The more you know
and try to achieve
the more you feel
showered with blessings.
You are what you eat
those you attract
-Written by Fedora el Morro
-Images created by Fedora el Morro, Mother Ghost Photography, Reed Carpenter, and one carrot.